How to Mimic the Texture of a Canteloupe

You see here, BAXTER, you're supposed to be careful to add the right texture. I'm beginning to think our model of the solar system will never appear to be comically composed of delicious tropical delicacies that might sway the hearts, minds and stomachs of those cantankerous old judges! It'll be third prize for us again...

Dutch

Look me in the eye and tell me that those pointy, overly wide shoes don't give you nightmares! And besides, look at that guy's calves... people with uneven calves are pretty much just waiting for you to turn around so they can shank you real good. I'm not lying. Ever.

Stupid Regular Twin

Next year, we're gettin surgery or something. We gotta conjoin our shit.

Disco Whale

Hope you Scotch-Guarded your armor, there, Sparky, because if you're swimming into the sunset from Wales, the Scots may very well getcha!

Laser Pie

Well, just you take that as a lesson: If you're going to leave a pie unguarded, ensure that the pie has some form of self defense to fall back on! Pies will only be victims if you deign such a fate for them!

Teenage Rebellion

Caving into peer pressure was never Billy's strong suit. Even though I'm not sure if Gramma really counts as a peer.

Mr. Eugene Gangrene

When Eugene tried to sign up for Zombie patrol in the afterlife, he ran into some unexpected difficulties.